A Collection Of Misfits Stories
by Quillian
Summary: Just a collection of short stories written by Quillian about Red Witch's Misfits!  Read and enjoy!  [COMPLETE]
1. Introduction to ACOMS

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own _X-Men: Evolution_ or _G.I. Joe_.

**SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** The Misfits series/universe belongs to **Red Witch**, who has graciously allowed anyone to play in her sandbox.

_Introduction to QMS_

Hello, everyone. My writer name is Quillian.

I originally posted this ongoing collection of Misfits short stories at Ficwad, but I'm now moving them here. I originally didn't want to post this here on FFN because of some of the recent decisions they've made, but seeing as how only my _Harry Potter_ fanfics seem to have been at risk on this site, I decided it was safe to post this story here.

Here, this is a compilation of stories ("A Collection Of Misfits Stories," or ACOMS for short), crazy one-shots involving the Misfits. It was originally named "Quillian's Misfits Stories," but I decided to change that, since it made it sound as though I was the author who created the Misfits, and I'm not. I hope you enjoy them, and try not to kill yourself laughing.

Thank you.

_–Quillian_


	2. Stuffed Animal Silliness

**DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

**SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

A/N: I've seen a few times how at least one of the Misfits steals Beach Head's teddy bear, Sergeant Snuffles, thus tormenting Beach Head in the process. It has been funny, but sooner or later, something has to happen… like this.

* * *

**_"Stuffed Animal Silliness"_**

* * *

It was a normal day at the Pit.

Well, almost normal.

"OKAY, WHO STOLE SERGEANT SNUFFLES _THIS_ TIME?"

Beach Head was storming through the G.I. Joe base, looking for anything or anyone that could help him find his dear teddy bear.

"Duke, you have any idea where those blasted kids are?"

The second-in-command shook his head. "No, sorry Beach Head, I haven't seen them at all so far today."

As Beach Head growled and stalked off, Duke said quietly to himself, "Well, hopefully they won't be able to top the time they put the teddy bear 'on trial.'"

"I HEARD THAT!" Beach Head yelled as he stalked out.

Hardly ten minutes later, Beach Head saw a small group of Joes standing in front of the administration building, facing the side of the office where accounting was.

Beach Head was about to ask what was going on when he looked where they were looking… and saw his beloved Sergeant Snuffles at the top of the building.

The teddy bear floated up off the building as though held by an invisible force (_Must be that reptile Xi!_ he thought to himself), and a squeaky voice could be heard.

"Oh no, the stocks are down and I invested my entire life's savings in the stock market! I can't go on! Good-bye cruel world!" The next moment, Sergeant Snuffles "jumped" off the edge of the building.

As the other soldiers laughed, Beach Head fought his way through the crowd shouting "NO…!"

He managed to catch poor Sergeant Snuffles just in time before he got "killed."

As Beach Head went back to his own room, clutching Sergeant Snuffles tightly, he caught something out the corner of his eye: Toad and Xi laughing together.

_So the little toad was also in on it!_ he fumed to himself.

As Beach Head made his way back to his room and put his teddy bear some new place which was safe, he kept thinking about it.

_I can't believe the frog-boy! Would he like it if I stole his little stuffed frog? I… hey, wait, that's it!_

Had anyone seen Beach Head's evil smile or heard his laughing, they would have run as far away from him as fast as they could.

Later that day, Todd came back to his own quarters when he somehow felt that something was wrong.

Then it hit him.

Hopper was missing.

_Oh no! What could have happened to my stuffed frog? He means so much to me... Where could Hopper be?_

Suddenly, he found a photograph which sent chills throughout his entire body.

Hopper was precariously poised on the edge of the opening of a laundry machine.

Attached to the picture was a note.

_Toad, as you can see, I'm holding dear little Hopper ransom. Come alone as soon as you can, or he gets a bath! See you there!_

Todd was instantly out the door, and just narrowly missed colliding with Fred, Lance, Pietro and Wanda, who were returning from somewhere.

Five minutes later, Todd burst through the door to the laundry room. Just as he began to plead for mercy for Hopper, he found his precious stuffed animal thrown gently at him. As Todd clutched his precious toy friend to his chest, he looked up to see the person who took him.

Beach Head.

"Why…?"

"Oh, I don't know, Toad, maybe I got _fed up with you constantly taking Sergeant Snuffles_?"

That got Todd to stop whatever he was about to say.

"Okay, let's play a game. It's called 'Let's Make a Deal.' You leave my stuffed animal alone, I leave yours alone. Got it?"

Todd nodded speechlessly.

"Good. Now let's leave before someone like Hawk finds out about this and starts assigning KP duty or something."

Both of them swiftly departed after that.

That night, Todd clutched Hopper close to him and said, "I'm glad to have you back, buddy. Can you believe that big bad Beach Head was actually nice about it for a change? Oh well, I really don't get it either. Good night, Hopper." He was asleep a few minutes later.

Back in his own room, Beach Head was "conversing" with Sergeant Snuffles. "I'm just glad you're back where you belong, pal. Did you know that for once I was actually _nice_ to Toad? Man, I hope I never have to do that again! Good night, Sergeant Snuffles." He was soon out like a light.

* * *

A/N: So how was this?

Note about the thing with Sergeant Snuffles on trial: Go to "The Misfit Chronicles" and read chapter 51. Try not to kill yourself laughing.

Note about the joke with the stocks being down: Allow me to explain something. The thing about people throwing themselves off of buildings during the Great Depression was actually over exaggerated. I just used it in this story.


	3. Avenging Dragonfly

**DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

**SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

A/N: Lina Chakram, a.k.a. "Dragonfly," is an OC of Red Witch's, introduced in "I Hate New People." She was locked up and beaten by her parents and subsequently disowned after her mutation developed. Here, the Misfits dish out some of their own brand of justice on her tight-assed, negligent parents after a chance encounter which opens old wounds.

**IMPORTANT NOTE:** I wrote and first posted this short story back in early June, 2005, well before Red Witch posted chapter 36 of her fic "Evolution XMJ." In that chapter, we see and find out that Lina's older brother did in fact still love Lina, and not hate her for being a mutant as their parents did. I didn't know where Lina's siblings stood on the issue when I wrote this, so I spared them and only persecuted the parents, which was a wise decision on my part.

* * *

**_"Avenging Dragonfly"_**

* * *

Fred "The Blob" Dukes walked down the stairs, the first of the Misfits to rise and get started on the day ahead. After taking a dozen or so eggs out of the fridge and turning on the stove, he got started on making some scrambled eggs. 

"Oh, hi Fred," came a nervous voice from the doorway.

Turning around, he saw it was Lina.

"Oh, hi Lina," Fred said happily.

"Making breakfast?"

"Yeah, some scrambled eggs for everyone."

"Mind if I help?"

"Not at all!"

Lina assisted Fred in cooking some other things for their teammates, and Fred gave Lina some helpful tips in return.

Over the next several minutes, the other Misfits and their adult guardians entered the room, thanking and complimenting Fred and Lina for making breakfast.

After everyone was done eating and everything was getting cleaned up, Roadblock made an announcement. They would be heading back to Angelica and Lina's hometown to investigate a possible Cobra cell. The mission was simple enough: Arcade, Wavedancer, Quicksilver and Xi would sneak into a supposed abandoned warehouse and investigate while Firestar, Dragonfly and Trinity would keep a lookout overhead in the air and everyone else would be on the ground.

Both girls were a little jittery about returning there, given the way in which they both left and joined the Misfits. However, for the sake of the mission, they both suppressed their fears and other emotions.

Setting their teleportation watches, they soon departed.

* * *

A quick spy mission quickly turned into a skirmish. Not only had the "abandoned" warehouse turned about to be a Cobra cell, but they had also been manufacturing experimental weapons. After several minutes of fierce fighting from both sides, the Misfits pulled through and helped round up the Cobra agents to hand over to the police who arrived on the scene. 

However, from the shadows, one slick Cobra agent hid and carefully aimed his gun at Dragonfly. A moment later, he pulled the trigger just as she saw him.

Involuntarily reacting from the fear, Lina's wings popped out behind her as she screamed. The energy blast hit one of her tough wings at such an angle that it bounced off and hit a car on the side, denting in the door and causing the alarm to go off.

"Oops," Pietro snickered. "Hey, that was kind of funny…"

After that, Xi took out the Cobra agent and handed him over to the police. As soon as he was taken away in a police car, the people watching the scene applauded and cheered.

Well, not everyone…

"YOU! Haven't you caused enough trouble, girl?"

Lina flinched as though she'd been hit. The other Misfits all turned to see Lina's parents, the Chakrams, who had harshly disowned their daughter.

Cover Girl, who had taken in Lina, felt a surge of anger at her ward's former mother and father; the first and last time she had seen them, she was ready to knock their lights out. Of course, it wouldn't do for military personnel to attack civilians.

Fred saw how self-righteous the two negligent parents were acting, and was severely tempted to loose all self-restraint just this once.

"That was our new car!" Mrs. Chakram shouted. "And that wretched girl ruined it just now!"

"Hey, that was the fault of the guy who shot at her!" Cover Girl shouted back. "And if you want to sue him, then get in line!"

"Not like you have plenty of money as it is!" Daria shouted.

"Yeah, right after you disowned Lina, all the money for her college funds went to 'other purposes,' such as the car," Brittany added.

There was a collective gasp. "Prove it," Mr. Chakram hissed.

"Telepathy," Quinn replied with a smirk. "All the heightened and negative emotions make it even easier to read your minds like books."

"You're all freaks!" Mrs. Chakram shouted, glowing red.

"At least we're not tight-assed jerks who disown our family and abandon our friends who we're fortunate enough to have!" Lance shot back.

"You know, I'd say that you look even worse by having disowned your innocent daughter than if you had kept her as you should have," Spirit said, indicating the gathering crowd who were looking at the Chakrams with some distaste.

"Our daughter was a traitor to our family!" Mrs. Chakram protested.

Fred was strongly reminded of when Magneto considered Toad a traitor after finding out that Toad had survived being thrown out of the jet. **(1)** "How could she 'betray' you when you kicked her out like that?" Fred countered.

"And what would a fat fool like you know about that wretched girl?" Mr. Chakram shot back.

Fred's face flushed as his patience snapped and he lunged at Mr. Chakram, lifting him up off his feet. "Apologize!" he roared.

"No, Blob, don't do it!" Roadblock shouted, trying to restrain Fred as best as he could. "He is not worth it!"

Common sense seemed to kick in again, and after a long moment in which Fred glared at Mr. Chakram, he roughly dropped the man.

There was a choked sob and Fred turned around to see Dragonfly taking off.

"Now look at what you did!" Fred snapped.

"I'll go get her," Firestar said, taking off after her.

As he straightened himself out and tried to retain as much dignity as he could, Mr. Chakram said, "Well, good riddance with that –"

* * *

Lina flew off across town, ignoring whatever looks she was getting from the people down below. She found her old high school, and flew to the top of the building. Off to one side, the gym was being repaired, still under construction. 

Finding a nice quiet corner on top of the building, Lina sobbed over having to go through this sort of heartbreak again.

"Hey," said a voice from behind her.

It was Angelica. She wrapped Lina into a hug and tried to soothe her friend, making reassurances.

After Lina had calmed down, both of them flew back to the area where the fight was. It seemed that the Misfits had already left, and so using their teleportation watches, they went back home to the Pit.

* * *

Lina went straight to her room so she could have some time to herself, while Angelica went to the living room to find a bunch of angry-faced teammates. 

"What happened?" Angelica asked, instantly feeling uneasy.

"If you had stayed a little longer, you would have heard the awful things they called Lina, yo," Todd said with disgust.

"For a strict couple or whatnot, they really deserve a good swat," Roadblock stated.

There was a moment of silence, and then an evil grin graced Pietro's features, which made the others a little nervous.

"Well… why don't we give them one?"

As the other kids caught on, they also shared evil grins as their devious minds thought up ways to torment the Chakrams. Seeing them all dream of methods of doing so would have been enough to scare Cobra Commander into reconsidering some heinous plan.

"I didn't stop Fred from driving them into the ground just so you could all prank them," Roadblock said.

"Actually, that was before they said those nasty things," Althea argued.

"Besides, you let us show up the X-Men when they bashed us on TV that one time," Lance pointed out.

"This is true," Roadblock conceded.

"Besides, we'll just make it look as though they're the awful people," Todd said, "As opposed to making them the victims of some awful pranks."

"No, _no_ retaliation," Cover Girl said, putting out their plans.

"Awww," all the Misfits said in unison.

Just then, the phone rang. "I'll get it," Cover Girl said as she went over and did just that. There was a gasp before she exclaimed, "Mrs. Chakram!" Everyone whipped their heads around to see her, but as they watched, Cover Girl's face grew steadily redder and redder until she looked ready to explode. "OKAY, THAT'S IT! IF I _EVER_ HEAR YOU SAY _ANYTHING_ LIKE THAT _EVER_ AGAIN, I'LL RIP YOUR F---ING TONGUE OUT!" she screamed, slamming down the phone so hard it nearly broke into several pieces.

The others could only stare at her in disbelief as she breathed heavily with one of her eyes twitching. After a few moments, she turned to the wary Misfits gathered around her.

"Okay, you can get even with Lina's former parents… but just this once!"

"YAY!"

"Some disciplinarians we are," Shipwreck remarked. Then he noticed all the other adults looking at him funny. "What?"

* * *

It had been hard for both of the Chakrams to sleep that night; it was almost as though some invisible thing kept poking at them every time they tried to go back to sleep. Finally, they both tried to get up to see what was causing their discomfort. 

A serpent-like person with snakelike eyes looked back at them with a grim smile. "Hello."

Their combined scream was enough to set off the alarm of their fancy new car outside.

When they finally came to a couple of hours later (they had fainted from shock), they noticed that their entire house was covered inside and out by spider webs which gave off tiny and highly unusual electric discharges. Not only that, but there was slime on all the doors and windows. After getting rid of those, they were able to send their youngest two children off to school… and find that they new car was gone.

So, they ended up taking the bus to work… and come just in time to see a horrifying if not bizarre spectacle they would never forget for as long as they lived.

On top of the hospital where they worked was what looked like a person, waving his arms so everyone down below on the ground would notice, see and hear him.

Unbeknownst to everyone else, however, the Maximoff twins were behind the scenes. Hidden on the roof where no one could see them, they ran the twisted show. Scarlet Witch used her powers to control the marionette like a puppet while Quicksilver altered his voice for the occasion.

"I am dying, and it's all because of those wretched Chakrams! Somehow those idiots botched up a simple surgery and now I'm decaying from the inside out! They're no better than that mutant daughter of theirs! I may as well end my tragic life now! Good-bye, cruel world!" The "person" then "jumped" off the building. "He" fell and hit the ground, causing his sides to burst open, sending "blood" everywhere.

While people screamed and panicked down below, brother and sister savored the moment of seeing the success of their handiwork in a rare moment between them. In a flash, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch were gone the next moment.

A few hours later, the Chakrams were talking to the police about what they had seen, insisting that this had to be a sort of cruel prank. Mrs. Chakram went to go get a pitcher of water for everyone, only to stumble into the next pitfall which the Misfits had planned out.

Using her hydrokinesis, Wavedancer caused all the water coursing throughout the pipes in their office to go berserk, coming out of everything from faucets to sprinklers. She even used her powers to make the water move in ways that defied the laws of physics (or at least gravity).

Not only that, but Trinity had acquired their device which could change the water temperature to make sure they threw in some "instant insanity."

After the Chakrams and the police officers all looked washed out, the Delgato girls all snickered and left.

They left later that day to find their car in the parking lot, stretched out across three handicapped spaces. Not only that, but it had these evil purple faces spray-painted on the hood, roof and doors of the car.

"Mommy, look, it's a Decepticon!" one little boy said, pointing at the car.

"No, dear, Transformers don't really exist, remember?" the mother said to her little boy.

Embarrassed, the Chakrams quickly got into their car and drove home, anxious to end this day already. But the madness would only continue.

In addition to providing Avalanche with the purple spray paint and Decepticon logo stencils, Arcade had also installed a small device under the Chakram's new car.

Now, back at the Misfits' home, Avalanche was in a special simulator, where he could control the car by remote (he was chosen for this task, since he was the only one of the Misfits who could drive).

Having a ball, the earth-shaking mutant made the car weave in and out of traffic, causing chaos and calamity in its wake. Inside the car, the Chakrams were clutching each other, praying to whatever god or deity that would listen to them that they didn't die from this. Several minutes and countless accidents and traffic violations later, Avalanche was on the way to pre-arranged destination: the park.

Blob and Firestar were in the park, staging a conversation to look innocent, when the car came zooming at them. Firestar ducked behind Blob just in time, for the car slammed into the bigger mutant's gut, causing no damage to himself but seriously jolting the couple inside, even though they were buckled in.

His work complete, Avalanche hit the self-destruct button, which caused the remote transmitter to shut off and disintegrate in a small explosion, leaving no trace of itself behind.

Firestar was doing a good job at looking panicked and scared while Blob looked angry. He then shouted, "What, it's not enough that you say and do nasty things to us, but now you're trying to run us over now too?"

The Chakrams staggered out just as the police drove up, sirens blaring.

"You're those Misfits, right?" one of the officers said.

"Yeah, I was just showing Fred here my hometown, and we stopped here in the park," Angelica said.

"And then _they_ came right at us!" Fred added. "Good thing for my powers, or my friend here would have been run over!"

"AWK!" screeched a parrot from overhead, landing a big dropping right on the windshield of the Chakrams' car. "Bombs away!"

"Well, there's something you don't see everyday," Angelica commented.

"Okay, you kids can go," the officer said as the Chakrams were carted into a police car while another officer read them their rights.

* * *

Dragonfly had spent the whole day in her room, reading her medical textbooks. Sometime later, the Misfits had returned, looking inches away from bursting out laughing. She didn't ask why, and something told her that she was better off that way, not knowing. 

Meanwhile, in the county prison, the TV showed the day's mad events for the umpteenth time, and the Chakrams had tried to hide in a corner as best as they could, still reeling from what was most possibly one of the worst days of their lives.

"Yikes, I thought your daughter was a freak, but you cause just as much damage," came the voice of Bonnie Blake from behind them.

Finally losing what little patience she had left, Mrs. Chakram snapped. With a scream, she lunged at the delinquent girl, causing a catfight that got the attention of everyone else.

In the meantime, Mr. Chakram was begging his head against the wall, REALLY hating his life at that moment.

* * *

A/N: Okay, who wanted to see this coming? Raise your hands. Hold on, I'm still counting, LOL… 

Note about Todd being thrown out of a jet, as seen from Fred's POV: Back in "Parallel Lives," I believe.

Note about the Misfits showing up the X-Men on TV: Somewhere around chapter 40 in "I Hate New People."

Note about the Maximoff twins' prank: Is it me, or do I seem to have this thing with people jumping off of buildings?

Note about Trinity's "instant insanity" device: See "Parallel Lives," chapter 64.

Note about the _Transformers_ thing: Oh yes, I forgot another **SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** _Transformers_ aren't mine, but are the property of Hasbro.


	4. More Mutant Pox Mayhem

**DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

**SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

A/N: I have been finally able to read "The Sleepover of Doom," thanks to a site where all of Red Witch's Misfits stuff can be read. I decided to pass the bug onto some new mutants who joined the Institute back in "Double Identity," as well as some evil OCs of RW's who didn't appear back in "Sleepover of Doom." But hey, the more the merrier, right? _Enjoy!_

* * *

**_"More Mutant Pox Mayhem"_**

"Just when you thought it couldn't happen again…" Xavier groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"Well, to be fair, Charles, these new mutants weren't with us when we all got the Mutant Pox the first time around," Hank pointed out.

Currently, six mutants were in the infirmary, suffering from Mutant Pox, which only mutants could get but was hardly the most dignified illness around.

Or, at least, they _were_ in the infirmary…

"We've got a jailbreak!" Logan said, breaking out the tranquilizers and guns.

"Right behind you," Hank sighed as he and Warren followed Logan.

"Hey, Tim just broke into the Danger Room!" Scott said, running up to them, followed by Jean.

"Man, I can't believe that _any_ kid would enjoy the Danger Room that much, hallucinations or not!" Logan groaned with the other adults in pursuit.

Skullfire was in the middle of the danger room, looking up at several creepy-crawly monsters shifting in rows, left and right, bearing down on him as they shot laser bolts. Skullfire was moving around, parallel to them, shooting rays up at them and destroying them.

The staff all watched, seemingly mesmerized, as Skullfire blew up the last monster. "Whoo-hoo, high score!" he yelled, jumping up in the air with his fist for emphasis. He fell back down to the floor tranquilized and with a dart in his arm as Logan lowered his gun.

"Using hi-tech Danger Room holograms and simulations to play old _Space Invaders_ games," Hank mused. "Who would have thought?"

"Let's not get nostalgic just yet," Warren said. "Come on!"

From there, they looked around and walked into Forge's laboratory to see if there was anyone in there. There was someone: Cypher.

At the moment, he was haphazardly constructing some kind of giant metal ring out of just about any kind of metal he could find, and also placed glowing red light bulbs at equal increments around it.

"What are you doing, Doug?" Hank asked in a calm voice, hoping to pacify him.

"The name's not Doug," the young scholarly mutant said, turning to face them, wearing glasses. "The name's _Daniel_… Daniel Jackson. And for your information, I'm repairing the Stargate. I was finally able to decipher the star constellation symbols on the stones for this gate…"

"Looks like he's been watching too much of the Sci-fi Channel," Hank said quietly.

"Can you blame him, between the fact he likes that stuff and the fact it's one of the only channels that doesn't constantly bash us mutants?" Scott asked him.

"Point well-taken," Hank replied.

Doug then jumped down and reached for a jury-rigged power switch. However, before he could do anything potentially stupid, he was hit with a dart by Logan.

"Two down, four to go," Warren sighed.

However, Logan took a moment to walk up to the "Stargate," admire Doug's work… and tear it down with his claws.

"What was that for?" Jean asked.

"I figured it wasn't safe to give Forge any more ideas for his 'experiments,'" Logan said, ending it off with a growl.

"A wise decision," Jean conceded, thinking back to when the last one was used on Scott… with disastrous results.

"Okay, off to find the next one…"

However, they barely made it to the elevator when it opened up to reveal…

_"Betsy?"_ Warren asked disbelievingly.

The British mutant was currently dressed in a tight dress robe which hugged all her curves as though she were ready to go out on a date. "Hello, my angel," she said, strutting up to him. Then, without warning, she flung her arms around Warren and kissed him squarely on the lips, causing him to go stock-still and have his eyes pop wide open.

All the other males present just gaped at the scene… until an exasperated Jean took the tranquilizer gun from Logan and nailed Betsy in the back.

As the purple-haired young woman slumped, Jean handed back the gun to Logan and telepathically hovered Betsy down to the infirmary. "You guys go ahead," she called, "I'll make sure they don't go anywhere… besides, maybe I can use my telepathy or something to help the hallucinations go away."

"Good thinking, Red," Logan called back to here. He then turned and noticed Warren still standing there as if in shock. Grunting, Logan said, "Let's just leave him so he can recover."

Agreeing with Logan, Scott and Hank entered the elevator and went up to the floor level.

As soon as they were in the normal part of the mansion, they could hear cheering and applause. Running to the foyer of the mansion, they entered it to see Everett performing. Using powers from the nearby Jamie and Tabitha, the power-mimicking mutant and a copy of himself were juggling multiple energy bombs. For the grand finale, Everett tossed them all up in the air, reformed himself back into one person, and let the bombs fall and hit him with a small explosion. The audience gasped…

…Until the dust cleared, and Everett stood there without a scratch, since he was now copying Peter's power to protect himself.

As Everett undid the metal armor on his skin and bowed for the audience, he kept bowing until he hit the floor, thanks to a newly-placed tranquilizer dart in his side.

"Sorry, kids, the show's over," Logan said, hoisting Everett up and handing him to Beast, who bounded off to the infirmary with him.

"I wouldn't say that," said a girl's voice from a nearby doorway.

Dressed in black robes, Dead Girl stood at the top of the staircase. "So, Kamahl, you barbarian," she said addressing Logan, "you thought you could avoid a fight with me? Guess again! I summon Severed Legion!" With that, and some strain, Dead Girl fell apart into different pieces, with her arms slithering across the floor, trying to attack Logan.

With three calm shots from Logan – one for each of her arms, and one for the rest of her – Deal Girl was unconscious. With Rogue's help, Scott collected all of her and carried her back to the infirmary.

"So, that leaves only Penny left," Logan muttered.

"Don't bother, Wolverine," said a voice from the front doors. Althea was walking in, followed by Todd and Fred, who both had bandages on bodies and unhappy looks on their faces. Fred was carrying a tranquilized Penny with quite some effort.

"What happened to you guys?" Logan asked.

"Oh, Trinity decided to 'invite' Penny over for some tea party just as Foresight was visiting us…"

* * *

_"Clefairy!__ Use Tackle attack against Politoed, NOW!" Foresight commanded, and Penny lunged at Todd._

_"YOUCH, that hurts!" Todd said as he sidestepped a charging Penny – but didn't get out of the way in time as Penny left a few scratches along his arms._

_"Hey, that's enough!" Roadblock yelled, charging up to the scene with Fred. "Just because you both got Mutant Pox is no reason for you both to get rough!"_

_"Oh, it looks as though Brock has just recalled Politoed!" Foresight exclaimed. "Clefairy, use Slash attack on Snorlax instead!"_

_"YEOW!"__ Fred exclaimed as Penny landed a direct hit on his enormous gut._

_A moment later, Foresight and Penny were both simultaneously tranquilized by Lifeline and Bree._

* * *

"Well, sorry about that," Logan said gruffly. "Anyway, thanks for bringing her home."

Xavier was just wheeling up to them when he heard about that incident, on top of all the other ones.

"I'm certain that Magneto never has this kind of bad luck that we seem to always have," the professor groaned again.

_Meanwhile, in Magneto's hidden base, far, far away…_

"I'm positive that Xavier has everything made easier for him!" Magneto spat. "He doesn't have to put up with the same problems as I do over and over again!"

A small group of Magneto's minions (Ramrod, Ramfist, Shiva and Bolt) had just returned from a long reconnaissance mission, and within mere days of their return, had fallen sick with the Mutant Pox.

Bolt was acting as the referee in a "wrestling match" between the twin mutant brothers with goat-like mutations. On his signal the two of them went at it, trying to take the other down. However, it was when they tried aiming below the belt that Bolt had to use his electrical powers to break the two of them.

As Bolt was taken down by a restless crowd who didn't get to see a real fight, Shiva happily jumped into the center of everyone's attention. With her four arms, she did an impressive juggling act with her swords as she casually walked around. However, it was when Pyro decided to take that moment to hit on her did she accidentally slip and end up cutting the Australian mutant with one of her swords, causing him to shriek in pain.

"Oh my, did Shiva just kill – oh wait, nevermind, Pyro's still alive," Mystique said, finishing it off with a tiny groan.

"Oh, whatever did I do to deserve all of _this_?" Magneto groaned, putting his head in his hands.

* * *

A/N: So, how was _that_ insanity?

**_EXTRA SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:_** I don't own _Space Invaders_, _Stargate_, or _Magic: The Gathering_ (the thing where Kamahl and Severed Legion come from), or _Pokemon_. And let's face it, folks – if I owned even _one_ of them, I'd undoubtedly have a lot of money sitting in my back account right about now.

ALSO, YOU WANT TO KNOW A TRUE FACT? Christopher Judge, who acts as Teal'c in _Stargate: SG-1_ also did the voice of Magneto in _X-Men: Evolution_! How's that coincidence?

Note about Jean's comment on Forge's experiments: Think back to the one-shot story, "X Marks the Scott."

Note about the absence of the new villains which appeared in "Double Identity": Well, apart from Feral, I really don't know all of them, let alone what they all do, so they're not here… they're off on a mission or something, instead of the four Acolytes who had just returned… yeah, that's it.


	5. Thunderbird 451

**DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

**SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

A/N: First of all, I've renamed this story; instead of "Quillian's Misfits Stories," it's now "A Collection Of Misfits Stories." Anyway, I was just perusing through Great Literature According to Thunderbird" some time ago, and I decided to poke fun at a book which he never bashed. _(And, ironically, I happen to like this book.)_ Personally, I think the title says it all…

NOTE: This takes place a few days after the last chapter of "Great Literature According to Thunderbird."

**Also, I would like to thank the great Red Witch herself for tossing me some ideas for this one.**

* * *

"The point is obvious. There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running around with lit matches. …" –Ray Bradbury, "Coda"

* * *

"**_Thunderbird 451"_**

It was a few days after the class where the students debated and argued about _Animal Farm_ by George Orwell and after Hank and John got into a fight over William Shakespeare vs. Donald Trump.

And now, John was teaching again.

"Okay, so, which book shall we trash – er, I mean _discuss_ this time?" John asked with a grin (he was obviously in a good mood).

Naturally, everyone turned towards Kurt, who usually wanted to discuss one book which everyone else wanted to trash.

Instead, today he was absorbed in a book which depicted what looked like a fireman bearing a flamethrower.

"Kurt, you with us today?" John called.

Kurt snapped out of his funk and looked up from the book he was reading. "Oh, I'm sorry, I was reading this book…"

"Really?" John asked. "Which book is it?"

"It's…" but then Kurt trailed off and stopped himself before he could say anything else. "NO! I'm not telling you!" Kurt yelled. "You'll just bash this one again!"

As he said that, the German mutant made a dash to stuff it in his bag, but Jamie snatched it out of Kurt's hands and held it up for all to see. "_Fahrenheit 451,_ by Ray Bradbury!" Jamie shouted.

"Oh GOD no!" John moaned. "Not THAT one!"

Kurt gave an odd mix of a sigh and a groan. "Here we go again." He then mumbled under his breath, "Thanks a lot, Multiple."

"No problem, Nightcrawler," Jamie responded cheerfully, tossing Kurt his book back.

"So, what's this book about?" Jesse asked.

"Oh, it's some sort of utopian future or something where firemen burn books as well as the houses which they're found in," John drawled. "Instead, everyone just watches walls with TV's or something built into them."

"Hm, that doesn't sound so bad," Roberto remarked.

"Yeah," John agreed. "Quick poll: Would you rather read books or watch TV?" Every hand except Kurt's shot up like a rocket. "I rest my case."

"The whole point of that book was about the evils and hypocrisy of censorship!" Kurt pointed out, determined not to let John unfairly win this argument in his usual fashion.

"What's wrong with censorship?" Tabitha asked. "They do it all the time with movie ratings, don't they?"

"Well, _that_ kind of censorship I can live with," Kurt elaborated. "You know, so children don't see movies with stuff that's too mature for them… but the kind of censorship I'm talking about is where people censor things and prevent ideas from spreading simply because they don't like those ideas and don't want other people going with those ideas."

"You mean like if you wanted to publish some things about how mutants shouldn't be persecuted against and some jerk like Senator Kelly censored it because he didn't like those ideas and didn't want people to go with them?" Paige asked Kurt.

"Exactly!" Kurt exclaimed, gesturing towards Paige. "That's my entire point! Trying to prevent innocent children from seeing things which they're not mature enough for, that's one thing… but censoring stuff for _other people_ simply because _you_ don't like it? That's whack!"

"Well, the book is whack!" John shot back. "I can see your argument against censorship, Kurt, but the book is still BOR-ING! It's either 'Hey, maybe they shouldn't burn books after all' or 'Hey, let's strike back against the government and have books published again,' and that's boring! Just some tale about this guy named Guy Montag who burns books for a living, meets some delusional teenage girl who goes on about books, meets with some old professor who hides books and yet doesn't read them, kills his boss, runs away from the system, joins up with these people who _memorize_ entire books, and helps in some assault against the system!"

"You know, it sounds like Pyro would love the job as a fireman in that," Roberto chuckled.

"Knowing Pyro, he definitely would," Amara agreed.

"The argument isn't just against _burning_ books," Kurt argued. "The author has even said himself that there's more than one way to burn a book, so to speak – just by editing out words or ripping out entire pages, you're still doing the same thing if you were burning an entire book; trying to prevent ideas from being spread which are perfectly allowed to be spread simply because you don't like them! If you don't like a certain book or any other sort of literary text, then just don't read it, but don't ruin it or yank it away from other people!"

"Wow, Kurt, you're really passionate about this sort of thing, aren't ya?" Sam asked.

Kurt merely shrugged in response to that. "I think after all the book bashing that's been done in this class, it's kind of gotten on my nerves after a while."

"You know, Kurt, you _do_ raise some interesting points," John said slowly. "But then again, suppose I burned just _one_ copy of that book… surely there'd still be plenty of other copies out there, right? Still those same ideas for other people to read?"

Kurt shook his head. "You know what, Mr. Proudstar? I think that by now, you have officially lost me…"

"Here, let me demonstrate," Thunderbird said as he plucked another copy of _Fahrenheit 451_ off the shelf and proceeded to set it on fire with a cigarette lighter he just happened to have on him.

At that very same moment, Beast walked in to ask his colleague something… but whatever it was, no one else knew, because he saw John setting a copy of _Fahrenheit 451_ on fire.

Beast let out an unearthly roar of anger and promptly went berserk. "THUNDERBIRD, YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY CROSSED THE LINE THIS TIME! SETTING A COPY OF _FAHRENHEIT 451_ ON FIRE? YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME, YOU BOOK-BURNING FASCIST!"

And with that, another brawl promptly ensued, this one even more grand then their previous "Shakespeare vs. Trump" argument. Their shadows were thrown across the floor by the fire which now proceeded to eat away at the teacher's desk and the floor underneath it. Greatly excited, all the students (minus Kurt, of course, who was shaking his head and moaning in disbelief) placed their bets on their fighting teachers and set back to watch the show.

A minute later, Xavier came along and saw what was going on. By, now there was only one thing he could do…

"Why is it my teachers cause more fires than my students?" Xavier groaned to himself.

* * *

A/N: So, how was this one?

Note about the Ray Bradbury quote at the beginning of this short story: Most copies of _Fahrenheit 451_ these days should have this "Coda" thing in the back of them. It's basically the author's thoughts upon censorship itself.


	6. Hard Hats for Hard Heads

**DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

**SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

A/N: When **RogueFanKC** reviewed "Thunderbird 451", he mentioned something about Kurt possibly getting back at Jamie for being a bit of a nimrod in that. Well, now that he mentions it, it is a good idea. So, this one-shot (which takes place immediately after "Thunderbird 451") is dedicated to **RogueFanKC** as Kurt gets back using… _(Look at title below.)_

* * *

"**_Hard Hats for Hard Heads"_**

After the fight between Beast and Thunderbird over the literal burning of the book _Fahrenheit 451_, Ororo used her powers to put out the fire and electrocute the two combatants into submission, stopping the fight. After that, Professor Xavier went to his office to order more fire extinguishers while the students left for the day.

Jamie dashed off, looking quite pleased with himself for "contributing" to the class that day, while Kurt looked at him darkly for one moment before teleporting off.

Back in his room, Kurt was thinking about Jamie and Mr. Proudstar for bashing a book which was written about book-bashing (what ill irony there!). He wanted to prank them back…

And suddenly, an idea developed in his head.

Kurt laughed evilly to himself as he found some superglue and a couple of firemen hats lying around from who-knew-what…

* * *

Jamie woke up the next morning, feeling the hardhat on his head. 

_Hardhat on his head?_

Sitting bolt upright, Jamie got out of bed and dashed to the mirror in his room.

Stuck to his head was a fireman's hardhat, with the number "451" painted onto the front of it.

Jamie had been pranked!

As he was figuring out what to do, there was a round of laughter being heard from downstairs in the kitchen. Instantly curious, Jamie dashed down to see what it was.

A groggy Thunderbird had dragged himself into the kitchen, completely oblivious to how he had a hardhat just like Jamie's, even with a number "451" painted on the front of it.

Everyone was laughing, and Kurt had this mischievous gleam in his eyes, while Hank was laughing it up like it was the funniest thing in the world.

The laughing was renewed as Jamie walked into the room.

Eventually, though, a truce was made where Kurt would remove the hardhats if Jamie and Mr. Proudstar apologized. Both prank victims grudgingly did so, and Kurt got rid of them.

However, knowing the chaotic nature of things at the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters, it would not stay this way for long, and some craziness would begin once again.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, yeah, I know… short, didn't take all that long to write… but hey, I wanted to write it anyway. _(Shrugs.)_ Besides, I think it would be a perfect prank against censors like the kind which Ray Bradbury was talking about in _Fahrenheit 451_. What do you think? 

I don't know what's up next for this series of Misfits one-shots, but I already have a few ideas in mind… –_Quillian_


	7. End of the Road for ACOMS

**DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

**SPECIAL DISCLAIMER:** See the Introduction.

_**End of the Road for ACOMS**_

Hi again, everyone.

Sorry about this, but I am now just as well creatively and energetically bankrupt as far as ideas for this collection of short stories goes.

I do appreciate all the feedback I've gotten for this, don't get me wrong. However, I figured I may as well end this now.

However, I will let you know about a couple of ideas which I had for another installment of ACOMS…

One of them was an idea which I discussed with RedWitch which she called "The Teddy Bears of Terror," where the Triplets create some motorized or robotic teddy bears which end up being vicious machines. Hellion torture was included, as well as an Ewok reference or two. (I mean, come on, how can you write something funny about killer teddy bears and not make at least one reference to the Ewoks?)

The other was something more somber and serious, where Lance thinks about how he finally broke up Kitty for good at the end of RedWitch's fic "Interdimensional Dementia." However, as I was writing it, RedWitch already wrote some other things concerning Lance and Kitty in the first few chapters of "Day of Our Mutant Lives" which conflicted with what I had in mind. So, I just tossed that idea aside (and to be fair, even I don't think what I was writing for this Lance/Kitty thing was that good anyway).

Maybe some day, I'll write another "volume" of ACOMS… who knows?

Farewell, and thanks again. –_Quillian_


End file.
